Dream a little dream of me

So today in church, I have really tried to pay attention. And it was in KOREAN. So, it was extra difficult for me... but I ended up receiving a lot of blessing from today's sermon. So my pastor told us a little funny story he always tells us.
Two elderly married couple were visited by a wish granter of some sort. Both were 60 years old. The wish granter asked the woman, "I can grant any wish or dream you want. What do you want most in the world?" The woman said, "I want to live happily with my husband." Her wish was granted. The man was offered the same wish. The man responded, "My one wish is to live with a woman younger than me by 30 years." So the wish granter also granted his wish. He aged 30 years. Thus, the 90 year-old man lived together with his 60-year-old wife.

So what was the purpose of the little story? There really wasn't... my pastor just likes to crack jokes or funny stories. Anyways, his main purpose of the sermon today was about dreams.

1 Chronicles 4:10 (New International Version)

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

My pastor told us about the importance of a goal and our dreams. Our dreams come from our Lord. He speaks through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. He reveals the little things that make up His dreams for us. However, we have sometimes developed our own dreams due to our greed, self-righteousness, and pride. I learned today that this can be dangerous. The Lord wants you to have free-will over your life - so the decisions are up to you, but He wants you to make the right decision. And that is to always ALWAYS rely on Him. He promised us all that He will always love us. He wants our complete trust, even over our dreams and goals in life. Because we must live for Him. Amen? Amen.

Remember that song? Lord, I give you my heart by Hillsong:

This is my desire, to honour You
Lord with all my heart I worship You
all I have within me
I give You praise
all that I adore is in You

Chorus:

Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me

This is my desire, to honour You
Lord with all my heart I worship You
all I have within me
I give You praise
all that I adore is in You

Chorus

This is what we need to do. Desire to honor and worship the Lord with all your heart - even your hopes and dreams.

It's so hard for us to give that up to God because most of us have our lives planned out according to ourselves: get a college degree, go to med school/grad school/nursing school/etc, get married, have 2 kids, live in the suburbs, go to church every sunday, grow old together, etc. But God might not agree. Maybe He wants you to be a missionary doctor. Maybe a pastor. Maybe even leave the comfort of our home to go help the needy in Cambodia. Who knows what the Almighty God might be planning for us RIGHT NOW. But the one thing we do know, for SURE, is God has a plan. A miraculous, awesome, most unworthy-of-me sort-of plan that will surely blow me away. However, for now, I learned I must give up my pride and hand over the plans I already mapped out for me. It is now fully in God's hands, and whereever He may lead me, I pray I will follow wholeheartedly.

To discuss a bit about my life:

I like to take control. Actually, I don't. I hate it when people touch my stuff, so imagine if someone wants to lead my life. NO. Thank. You. I don't want to take control, but it's because I don't trust anyone else to take it for me. So I guess, I do the same thing to God. Maybe it's the lack of faith or just lack of trust that I cannot seem to give up my "perfectly scheduled and organized plans."

But today, God sent me a vision:
I was a really young girl walking in a forest, catching butterflies. As a child, the fluttering lights were just so beautiful I couldn't resist. I kept grabbing for them, one by one, by one. I couldn't stop. They were just so pretty, I had to have them all. However, as I kept catching them, I noticed some of them were already dead in the palm of my hands. And the others, were snakes and dirty little bugs crawling all over my hands and arms. I tried to drop them and get rid of them quickly, but I have already caught so many, that it was everywhere.

I'm sure this was a sign of my own greed. Everything that sparkles in front of me will catch my eye. The Lord knows that, and I know it. I also try to take advantage of everything that comes my way - whether it be a job, or internship, or material things, etc. Whatever it may be, I NEED IT. So in my own free will I grab for them, not thinking of God and what He wants me to have. Just being in my belongings is good enough for me to grab for all the "butterflies." However, they either die because I really didn't need them, or because they were just disguised as something so beautiful. You see, God has things along the way for me to find - like a treasure hunt. However, He wants us to know when to get them and when to leave it because it's not meant for us. He might want us to give it to someone else, or it might just be there to admire, not to keep. But my greed has posed a threat and kept others from reaching their own gifts from God.

The other things I have taken greedily have turned to bugs and insects. It is soiled. Sometimes Satan wants us to see these disgusting things and grab them without knowing how much harm they can do to us. At first it may be wonderful, but after a while, it might become dirty and soil your life. It will creep and crawl all over your body until you have no choice but to try to fight off the mistake you so desperately wanted in your life.

Then you turn to God. ahh, the cycle we all know and feel guilty for. How awesome would it have been if we left it up to God in the first place? It would have been less messy and less stressful.

Let me give you an example: For this summer, I applied to 16 different programs. I got accepted to 1 out of 16. How sad is that? The worst part is, instead of studying for exams, I was too busy filling out these damn applications thinking this was IT. I had to do this and get it over with. But the Lord looked down at me and said sadly, "Silly, Sarah. Silly, silly, Sarah."
Along the way during the school year, my grades have dropped slightly from last semester. But that's not all. I was offered internships in school. I had the chance to study at the U of Pennsylvania through a professor. I was given the opportunity to work with someone else at some top notch university. THE POINT IS, the Lord had it all planned. He wasn't going to let me rot this summer, for He is a productive God. He knew where He wanted me all along, and despite my tiresome efforts, He got His way like He always does. AND IT WAS GOOD. This summer was truly an amazing and blessed summer. And even if I didn't scurry to get all the applications done, I know God would have pulled in something somehow. And maybe it wouldn't have let my grades slip a bit. And maybe I wouldn't have doubted so much. Maybe.

To conclude, God knows what you want better than yourselves. According to the Bible verse way up there, Jabez begged the Lord for one wish. And it was granted. How simple is that? Ask the Lord, Seek the Lord, and BAM! You get it. It's faster than internet shopping and fast food restaurants. The Lord knows all. It is just our job to listen and follow.

It is now time to close up by saying this one last thing for you lovely people out there: It's time to find the yellow brick road and find our emerald city people!!!!